Today, I suddenly opened my eyes, and my wife was there at home. To be precise, it wasn’t ‘home’. It was still a hospital room, but my wife was here taking care of me. I was so surprised, but at the same time, a wave of relief washed over me. It was the moment I realized that the vague warmth and shadow-like presence I’d felt was my wife all along. I had often talked with Dad, and the hospital’s therapists had also helped me a lot. Under their care, I vaguely understood that I was hospitalized and vaguely believed I would get better soon. But my wife’s presence gave concrete form to that vague belief.
Today, I shared a pleasant conversation and some drinks with my wife. Of course, since I can’t speak fully, my wife led most of the conversation, and I could only express my thoughts barely with nods or gestures. Speaking is still difficult, but I’m grateful that those around me often understand what I want to say and help me out. Their patience and warm gazes are a great comfort to me. I also feel my physical condition is gradually improving. Just a few weeks ago, I was stuck in bed, but now I can walk short distances with support and move my fingers to grasp objects. I vaguely thought that just like a broken leg, my brain would also recover with time. That someday, this frustration would disappear, and I’d regain my former clear thinking and free language. I even held onto the hope of preparing soon to start work again.
However, the hospital staff told me that recovery might take approximately three years. At first, I didn’t quite understand that. I thought my brain would get better soon once my hospitalization ended. Three years felt incredibly unrealistic to me, like an eternity. When I heard those words, an unknown sense of anxiety and despair simultaneously blossomed within me. Could I really endure such a long time? And what about my family?
Yesterday, my wife and I talked about things we used to do together. My wife softly recounted the memories we had built. Many stories I couldn’t remember, happy moments, difficult times. My wife said she felt a little sorry for me. I wondered, “Am I really such a pitiable person?” Her eyes were filled with sadness and compassion, but I couldn’t fully grasp the depth of those emotions. The word “pitiable” felt like another burden. Was the me now truly the me of the past? My wife must know that even in this moment, I’m floundering, having lost myself.
Most of all, I miss my son. I still can’t recall his face, but through my wife’s stories, I could feel how much I loved him. And suddenly, I thought of Dad. I also remembered how much Mom suffered when Dad was hospitalized for three years. Vague memories from that time surfaced like fragments: Mom’s exhausted face, nursing Dad day and night, and the difficult times shouldering the family’s livelihood. Now, I, too, am hospitalized like my father, and I feel I am placing the same emotional burden on my wife and children. I feel sorry for my wife, thinking she will struggle for the next three years, and also grateful. My heart ached at my wife’s silent devotion by my side, despite my incomplete state. My wife was carrying as many burdens as the memories I had lost. Perhaps this mix of apology and gratitude is the biggest reason I need to recover. I must return to my wife and son, as my complete self. Until the day I can return the love they’ve given me, I will not give up on this long journey of recovery.
✅ Simple, Repetitive Word Practice – Speech Support (English)
- Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine Washing machine
- Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks Chopsticks
- Snowman Snowman Snowman Snowman Snowman Snowman Snowman Snowman Snowman Snowman
- Pig Pig Pig Pig Pig Pig Pig Pig Pig Pig
- Bag Bag Bag Bag Bag Bag Bag Bag Bag Bag
- Vest Vest Vest Vest Vest Vest Vest Vest Vest Vest
- Slide Slide Slide Slide Slide Slide Slide Slide Slide Slide
- Axe Axe Axe Axe Axe Axe Axe Axe Axe Axe
- Playground Playground Playground Playground Playground Playground Playground Playground Playground Playground
- Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar Pull-up bar
- Swing Swing Swing Swing Swing Swing Swing Swing Swing Swing
- Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw
- Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup
- Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow Scarecrow
- Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon Ribbon