I truly never expected this situation. I was so angry. I wanted to curse, and I felt sorry for myself. But in the end, I couldn’t shake the thought that it was all my fault, due to my lifestyle. I thought I had also created the cancer myself and that it was because I hadn’t taken proper care of my body. My body and mind were constantly wavering.
Several things made my heart even more complicated. First, I had no money. All this time, my wife had been telling me to focus on studying and to quit my job. I thought I was quite capable. I had done well in the financial sector, and I was now on the verge of becoming a CEO, managing even larger funds. But with the stroke, everything disappeared.
Second, for a year and eight months, I had endured and held on, even though it was so hard and I wanted to give up. And then I was suddenly diagnosed with cancer. It was truly unbelievable. The first thing my heart worried about was how our children, Taek-han and Geon-i, would live in the future.
I decided not to tell anyone this fact. I only told my closest family: my parents, my younger sibling, my brother-in-law, my in-laws, my brother-in-law, and my sister-in-law. I asked them not to tell anyone else. The reason was my worry that our children, Taek-han and Geon-i, would be upset that their dad was sick. But I knew for sure they would tell others. I know that as my story spreads, people will create stories under the guise of concern, and they’ll talk even more while calling it a secret. That’s how rumors spread. Nevertheless, I still wish for our children to find out slowly. I still don’t tell others this fact. For my children, I don’t say anything and keep it to myself. My heart aches and I am sad.
The day I was diagnosed with cancer was the hardest day for me. At that time, my wife and I were getting by with daily prayer. But that day happened to be the first day of a three-day trip to the beach with all the people from our church. I had to go to the hospital for a check-up in the middle of it. I kept it a secret from the children, but my heart was so heavy. My wife, too, must have been enjoying herself at the beach with a heavy heart.
Meanwhile, my body kept improving a little, then getting worse again. I had been communicating with many people by posting my story on the internet, but it was hard to reveal this fact. Most of the people who read my story on the internet live in the United States, followed by Korea, and then various other countries like France and Saudi Arabia. They were cheering me on in my stroke recovery, but I was so upset and tormented that I couldn’t say anything. However, as two weeks have passed, my heart is getting a little better. It’s partly thanks to prayer, but the long, indefinite waiting time for appointments made it even harder for me. I originally had to wait three to four months to even start a hospital check-up, and that endless waiting time left me in despair. It was so painful to be in a difficult physical and mental state yet be unable to even start treatment. But my mother helped me get an earlier hospital appointment through her friend. I still don’t know the exact details of my condition. But my heart is much more at ease than it was two weeks ago.
I want to continue sharing my story on the internet. Even with difficult and upsetting things like this, I want to help people who are struggling like me. There were moments when I was so tormented that I wanted to die. Even if there’s nothing I can do, I want to be of some help to you, even if just a little. That’s why I write on the internet like this.
✅ Simple, Repetitive Word Practice – Speech Support (English)
- Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine Tangerine
- Toilet Toilet Toilet Toilet Toilet Toilet Toilet Toilet Toilet Toilet
- Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball
- Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror
- Shovel Shovel Shovel Shovel Shovel Shovel Shovel Shovel Shovel Shovel
- Straw Straw Straw Straw Straw Straw Straw Straw Straw Straw
- Brush Brush Brush Brush Brush Brush Brush Brush Brush Brush
- Mop Mop Mop Mop Mop Mop Mop Mop Mop Mop
- Finger Finger Finger Finger Finger Finger Finger Finger Finger Finger
- Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon Korean melon
- Deer Deer Deer Deer Deer Deer Deer Deer Deer Deer
- Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper Chili pepper
- Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo Bamboo
- Paprika Paprika Paprika Paprika Paprika Paprika Paprika Paprika Paprika Paprika
- Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat Cat