These days, I’ve been continuously staying with my family. At my mother-in-law’s house, my brother-in-law’s family also sleeps over, and we live with our mothers in one home. I play and laugh with the children. When we gather like this, there are almost ten people in one house. Every day, we fall asleep together, and share our physical and emotional states. It’s a stark contrast to being alone in the hospital, filled with warmth and vitality.
I thought I was almost fully recovered. I believed that since I was discharged from the hospital, all my problems would be resolved. My body was improving, and I felt better every day. So, I firmly believed, “I’m okay now.” I repeated it to myself as if casting a spell.
But then, suddenly, I don’t know. As I talked a little with my family and had conversations, I kept believing that “things will get better,” but inside, I started to feel like something was still wrong. It’s the first weekend at home after being discharged. Next week is Sunday service at church. I wanted to go to church after a long time, stand on stage, and share a message. I thought it wouldn’t be too difficult, as it was something I used to do regularly.
However, I can’t speak properly. “Huh? What’s going on?” The words I want to say are clear, but they just won’t come out. My thoughts are distinct, and I know exactly what I want to say, but the words don’t connect smoothly. It was a harsh moment of confronting the lingering after-effects of Broca’s aphasia and Wernicke’s aphasia due to the stroke. It’s frustrating. I stop trying to speak, I can answer but sentences break off, and writing is even harder. Speaking is slightly easier, but both are still difficult. A huge gap existed between the speed at which I think, the speed at which I speak, and the speed at which I comprehend.
My father-in-law asked, “Can you pray?” and for a moment, I couldn’t say anything. Even familiar prayers wouldn’t come out of my mouth. My father-in-law was flustered, and I, too, worried, “What is this? Why is this happening?” As my body slowly recovered, my concern about my language grew with it. A sense of unease crept over me, wondering if there were still more problems within my mind that I didn’t yet understand.
My wife keeps explaining. She has studied and understood much more about this brain damage and speech problem than I have. But I still didn’t quite grasp it. Even after several explanations, I couldn’t really accept it, and sometimes even got annoyed. It was that difficult for me to acknowledge my condition. It was so frustrating.
Now, I admit it. There is a problem with my body. Before this, I thought there was no problem. No, I was deliberately ignoring the problem. I couldn’t accept the severity of the stroke’s after-effects. Thinking back now, I should have stayed in the hospital longer. I realize belatedly that I left the hospital too soon. This realization is painful, but I know it’s an essential step for future recovery.
✅ Simple, Repetitive Word Practice – Speech Support (English)
- Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball Ball
- Train Train Train Train Train Train Train Train Train Train
- Icicle Icicle Icicle Icicle Icicle Icicle Icicle Icicle Icicle Icicle
- Radio Radio Radio Radio Radio Radio Radio Radio Radio Radio
- Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo Taekwondo
- Lawn Lawn Lawn Lawn Lawn Lawn Lawn Lawn Lawn Lawn
- Baduk Baduk Baduk Baduk Baduk Baduk Baduk Baduk Baduk Baduk
- Lion Lion Lion Lion Lion Lion Lion Lion Lion Lion
- Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw Seesaw
- Tissue Tissue Tissue Tissue Tissue Tissue Tissue Tissue Tissue Tissue
- Crow Crow Crow Crow Crow Crow Crow Crow Crow Crow
- Microphone Microphone Microphone Microphone Microphone Microphone Microphone Microphone Microphone Microphone
- Hiking Hiking Hiking Hiking Hiking Hiking Hiking Hiking Hiking Hiking
- Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse Lighthouse
- Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup Cup